Between 2 Persona is secret!

I'm not pretty sure if its my secret life or not but i do act as it my secret life. Some of my friends notice and discuss it with me. I'm shocked to what they said to me and it realize me to the fact that i really hiding most of the truth. Here, i like to say sorry very very much to the silliness before. I would like to take it back and how much i feel grateful about it to meet her! Now when the time is crucial, the person who will help to give a bit sympathy is her. Even she look though as a very selfish person but she always contact me and care for me. Maybe she doing it for a selfish reason but she had sacrifices too much for me now and then... The guilt is building up inside me u know!

Yes, she is different from most of my friends! She always say "yes" and never said 'no' to what was decided!! As if you felt in much power and take control of the situation in your way. We venture many obstacles and faced many problems together and it brings many valuable experiences. Not many know what the best and the worst that we had been through together. How we support each other and face the scary problem together...This may bring many sweet memories in us. Even so, i couldn't dare to exposes her to my other life. I kept it to myself and make her as if my secret, I admit

My reality make it so hard to mix her and them up. As if, she is my secret life...my other persona...my 'dangerous fun'. The risk take just to had fun with her is something else i tell ya. From this i can be someone else that reality couldn't allow me. She showed me totally different life. Don't think bad...its not that evil or against religious matter or what!! it just i enjoy to be someone else. This reason may look as if i am a very selfish person. Well, at first i try to get close with her also because of my selfish personal reason but it reflect back to me cause i really regret it!!

Now what and how? do i need to revealed it ? I'm so sorry to her...because sometime i don't treat her fairly as i should. She doesn't know about this...and i keep it secret from my reality...but i really want to attain the situation.